Immunity

I recently had to deal with a relationship problem. Wow, super unusual I'm sure. I was dreading the confrontation of it but I was in prayer at church on Wednesday. I felt like God gave me a little insight into relationships. First, I am female. Shocker, for anyone who knows me. I am more in tune with relationships than guys. I like relationships, I need them, I want them. So, pretty big priority in my life. So of course, also a big trap where I could potentially fall. Then God led me to David. He was known for a heart after God. After all, Papa G Himself said it. (I have it in writing.) So a lot of people want to be like David and want Papa G to say something equally as cool and memorable. Looking at the life of David, he was all about relationship. With his father. With his sheep. With Samuel. Then with Saul. Especially with Jonathan. And Michal. With his people. But first and foremost, always with God. He didn't care to get undignified before God in his worship, He refused to model himself after Saul's ways, and he was constantly pursuing the Father. So relationship was almost as important to him as to females everywhere. Almost. Now where did David fall? Oh yeah. Relationship. ADULTEROUS relationship. With a FEMALE. So it's very likely for me to fall and for relationships to be something that divides me from others, takes me away from God, and potentially leaves me feeling isolated. I took this as a warning from God to be protective over my relationships. Even in dealing with the confrontation ahead of me, I knew I had to be honest and not just say everything was okay. But I also knew I had to say it in a way that would protect the other person and not come off as critical or accusing. I'm known for being that way so it would be harder than just letting word vomit come out of my mouth. But I believe God showed me that as a reminder to protect myself in relationships and to protect the relationships I truly value because they are still a potential trap for me and everyone else involved. I was made for relationship but that doesn't keep me immune from its traps.

PS I had some quiet time at a "cabin" by the "lake" which was very peaceful and took me to a place I need to be with Papa G. Check it out...

The Shack

If you want to know more about God, read The Shack. If you want to understand Jesus better, read The Shack. If you aren't sure if the Holy Spirit is real, read The Shack. If you just love to read, read The Shack. If you hate to read, read The Shack. If you do nothing else this year in your life, read The Shack!

This book has given me a whole new perspective on life and my relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. This book has meat for all ages, plenty of things to chew on. It hits on many major questions the world has for God as well as realistic situations that we all go through. This book is fiction but I believe it contains revelation of who God is and how our relationship with Him can really be.

I want to just share some of my favorite quotes from the book and hope that it will inspire you to read it for yourself.

"Once the Creation was broken, true fathering would be much more lacking than mothering...an emphasis on fathering is necessary because of the enormity of its absence." pg 94

"Humans are not defined by their limitations, but by the limitations that I have for them; not by what they seem to be, but by everything it means to be created in my image." pg 100

"We work within your systems even while we seek to free you from them." pg 123

"Rights are where survivors go, so that they won't have to work out relationships." pg 137

"Genuine relationships are marked by submission even when your choices are not helpful or healthy." pg 145

PS Go ahead and buy it. You will be doing a ton of highlighting, page folding, and rereading. It's worth it!

Healing

I figure since most of our hurts come from relationships, so will our healing. - Willie P. Young

This quote has stuck with me all day and my mind has went crazy analyzing the different meanings contained in it.

We feel rejected by God or disappointed by Him, confused, betrayed, and so on and what's the first thing we do? Run to other people. We look for other people and relationships to love us the way we want God to love us.

Or vice versa. Other people have hurt me so I run to God to avenge me but mostly, I'm looking for revenge. I run to God to snitch on my friends and expect Him to change them, but He always ends up changing me.

And then there's the most common. We are in a relationship with someone, they cut us, we replace them with a new relationship. I need to prove to myself that I am worth it, that I am good enough. So I will find someone else to fulfill the relationship I couldn't.

But what if our healing comes from the very same relationship that hurt us? What if when God does something I don't undestand, I look for healing and a deeper relationship with Him?

I'm not saying new relationships can't heal old hurts. I'm saying, do we go into new relationships looking for healing? Or do we play them the same way and hope they turn out differently? I'm guilty. I go about things the same way and rationalize with myself that I already know I can handle the hurt if it happens again. Been there, done that. I go into it knowing I can survive. I don't go into it thinking I can be healed.

There is often some compensation in every trial, if one looked hard enough. - Willie P. Young

What are you looking for? If you look hard enough, you'll find it...

Cut

People have hurt me.

I have hurt people.

This is what I've learned. I feel anger toward them and I want to make them feel the same pain (or worse) than what they made me feel. But after I've dealt with the anger- really dealt with it- I end up knowing God in a new way. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I know God in a way you couldn't possibly understand. I can rely on Him to bring me through the next hurt because I've already been there, done that.

For the people I have hurt, I hope that they realized this lesson even sooner than I did. I don't set out intending to hurt others. But then again, I don't set out to protect them either.

Hurt is a part of life. Maturity isn't until you choose it.

Knowledge isn't given, it's sought. I seek to know God better through every situation. I don't always accomplish that goal but I'm pursuing it. I've been hurt and I'll hurt again.

But I walked away better.

Thank you.