Immunity

I recently had to deal with a relationship problem. Wow, super unusual I'm sure. I was dreading the confrontation of it but I was in prayer at church on Wednesday. I felt like God gave me a little insight into relationships. First, I am female. Shocker, for anyone who knows me. I am more in tune with relationships than guys. I like relationships, I need them, I want them. So, pretty big priority in my life. So of course, also a big trap where I could potentially fall. Then God led me to David. He was known for a heart after God. After all, Papa G Himself said it. (I have it in writing.) So a lot of people want to be like David and want Papa G to say something equally as cool and memorable. Looking at the life of David, he was all about relationship. With his father. With his sheep. With Samuel. Then with Saul. Especially with Jonathan. And Michal. With his people. But first and foremost, always with God. He didn't care to get undignified before God in his worship, He refused to model himself after Saul's ways, and he was constantly pursuing the Father. So relationship was almost as important to him as to females everywhere. Almost. Now where did David fall? Oh yeah. Relationship. ADULTEROUS relationship. With a FEMALE. So it's very likely for me to fall and for relationships to be something that divides me from others, takes me away from God, and potentially leaves me feeling isolated. I took this as a warning from God to be protective over my relationships. Even in dealing with the confrontation ahead of me, I knew I had to be honest and not just say everything was okay. But I also knew I had to say it in a way that would protect the other person and not come off as critical or accusing. I'm known for being that way so it would be harder than just letting word vomit come out of my mouth. But I believe God showed me that as a reminder to protect myself in relationships and to protect the relationships I truly value because they are still a potential trap for me and everyone else involved. I was made for relationship but that doesn't keep me immune from its traps.

PS I had some quiet time at a "cabin" by the "lake" which was very peaceful and took me to a place I need to be with Papa G. Check it out...

Healing

I figure since most of our hurts come from relationships, so will our healing. - Willie P. Young

This quote has stuck with me all day and my mind has went crazy analyzing the different meanings contained in it.

We feel rejected by God or disappointed by Him, confused, betrayed, and so on and what's the first thing we do? Run to other people. We look for other people and relationships to love us the way we want God to love us.

Or vice versa. Other people have hurt me so I run to God to avenge me but mostly, I'm looking for revenge. I run to God to snitch on my friends and expect Him to change them, but He always ends up changing me.

And then there's the most common. We are in a relationship with someone, they cut us, we replace them with a new relationship. I need to prove to myself that I am worth it, that I am good enough. So I will find someone else to fulfill the relationship I couldn't.

But what if our healing comes from the very same relationship that hurt us? What if when God does something I don't undestand, I look for healing and a deeper relationship with Him?

I'm not saying new relationships can't heal old hurts. I'm saying, do we go into new relationships looking for healing? Or do we play them the same way and hope they turn out differently? I'm guilty. I go about things the same way and rationalize with myself that I already know I can handle the hurt if it happens again. Been there, done that. I go into it knowing I can survive. I don't go into it thinking I can be healed.

There is often some compensation in every trial, if one looked hard enough. - Willie P. Young

What are you looking for? If you look hard enough, you'll find it...